30 Apr 2013

Weird April

Today is the end of April 2013, it is almost mid year now.

It's 10.30pm and I'm trying hard to sleep. I think the aircond sound is quite disturbing, I dont like it actually, i prefer to sleep in the non aircond room as long as it is not too warm.

So, here I am doing blog entry at this hour on my bed using my tabs. A bit uncomfortable tho, desktop pc is the best, I love the idea of sitting on the chair and using all my fingers typing the words.

I did so much work these few days including compiling the expenses of Jan - April. Busy and productive :D

I also managed to keep in touch with some friends incl those who are not in kk anymore, just via whatsapp and instagram but I guess that it is so much better than nothing at all.
There's someone that I cant keep in touch, not because of I dont want to but I know it can't be done. I've choose not to bother much about this person since last April, it's been a year the relationship was awkward but as they said life goes on, whatever happened I will take it as a lesson, most importantly I didnt do as what I was accused. It was indeed a terrible accusation.

There's a time when I thought of seeing that person and ask for apology (for the sake of the relationship) but the main issue was, there's nothing that I did or I wrote was related to the person who was upset with me. I cant even call it as a misunderstanding because I didnt talk or write a message to her.

As for me, misunderstanding is like, I talk to you about something and you didnt get it because:

1. I talk in mandarin, you understand 50/50 and you end-up interpreting that I was cursing or insulting.

2. I might be talking to fast and laughing hysterically... you didnt get what I said and you go home thinking that I was making fun of you.

She put so much effort in putting me down, bashing, mocking, cursing etc.. and it made me asking myself.. did I evaluate that person wrongly? She was once a person that I called 'an angelic mother', the kindest and the one that I sincerely offered help no matter what time especially when things are related to her kids.

Till the day I die, I will not admit the thing that I never do or apologize for any mistake that I didnt do. it's way too desperate to be done.. However, I will just ignore that silly incident, no point to keep it in mind. Silly things happened sometimes and the best  to do is ignore it and take it as a serious lesson. I learnt that accusation is painful to be accepted and I will not do that to anyone.  While thing can't be fixed, the most appropriate that I could do is treat the person like nothing happen and move on. Stay positive!!!

"Holding on to an anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned
 Gautama Buddha (circa 563BC - 483BC)

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